"I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM!!!"
Simon knew Harriet was going to do something crazy when she stormed out of the room with hard steps, a copy of Vanity Fair still curled in her strong hand. He had to run after her.
"I'll snap his pinhead off!"
"And Tom! How could he? I've never been so humilliated in my whole life!!"
"That's not true! Remember when Elton John thought you were a Drag Queen?"
"I'M GONNA KILL MATT!!"
She stormed in her boyfriend's office. "MATT! MATT!"
Simon stopped right after her, sighing in relief. "He's not here."
"Well, he'll have a little somthing when he gets back! Where's the bat?"
"Harriet, please! He didn't mean to be mean..."
"Oh, please! He didn't go after a Bombshell Baby to sign up a boot to make me mad just to be funny!"
"But you gotta admit it is kinda- nothing!" he rushed, as she glared at him. "It's kinda nothing. Keep looking for the bat..."
"And now I have it printed on Vanity Fair! What the hell was he thinking! OH, here it is!" She took the bat from under Matt's desk and stared at it as a meanful smirk formed on her face, streching from ear to ear.
Simon felt chills going down his spine. "Harry?"
"Now, where will it hurt more?"
"You can't hit Matt with a bat!"
"I know I can't!" she said, as if it was obvious. "I'm gonna hit his desk. Over and over and over again until I'm over with this bitch! And than I'll go for his car!"
"Harriet, you're being crazy!"
"Crazy?" she stepped over to Simon, who stepped back immediately. "Crazy?! I'm not crazy!! I'm angry!!"
"And you have all right to be" he lied, scared, thinking which door was closer in case he needed a quick escape.
"Not only he twisted an innocent act of mine just to find a way of hurting me! He went for that boot for the simple pleasure of seeing me sad! Of revenge! Of humilliating me! He'd probably ask Jeannie to hand me the damn boot with a big smile!"
"Yeah... you have... some point. But, still, Harriet, look at you. This is ridiculous. Can't you be more mature? This isn't you."
Harriet stared Simon in the eyes and sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just gonna crash his computer! That will be enough!"
And Harriet lifted the batt fast - too fast. It wasn't heavy, but she was holding it with one hand so it fell back, just enough to make her loose balance and step back not to fall. And the batt touched the clock. A mere touch right on the middle. "CAREFUL!" Simon yelled, and Harriet turned to see the damage.
"Not a scratch." Harriet sighed in relief. And turned to Simon, laughing. "Thank God..." That is, until the whole thing fell down and broke into a million little pieces. Sparks and screws flew for a second, and died.
"BYE!" Simon said, running away, but Harriet grabbed him by the collar.
"What?! Come back here!"
"Lemme go, lemme go!! I don't wanna be here! I won't be a party in this!"
"It's just a clock!"
"It's not just a clock! It's Matt's whole working system! Do you know what will happen when he finds out?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! WHAT HAPPENNED TO THE CLOCK?! WHAT HAPPENNED?!"
Harriet and Simon turned to the door, where Danny was standing in complete shock.
"Uuhn..." Harriet looked at Simon, but he shrugged. "Who knows?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHO KNOWS'? WHAT HAPPENNED TO THE CLOCK?! WHO BROKE IT?! WHO BROKE IT?!?!"
"Nobody!" Simon tried.
Danny blinked. "What's this in your hand, Harriet?"
"Oh, it's a... uhn... Oh, okay! I did it!"
"Do you realize what you did?" he asked, a deep voice of doom.
"You killed the clock!"
"Yes, I... broke it."
"You killed it!"
"What is happen-WOW!!" Cal was taken aback. "WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Harriet killed the clock!"
"It was an accident! I was aiming for the computer!"
"And that's not a screw up waiting to happen?" Danny replied.
"Matt is going ot kill you!"
"You know, the clock is the dictator of men."
"Yes, and who will dictate Matt from now on? Who will sufocate him from now on? Who will be there, tic-tacking time and torturing him with fear of failure? Who will be his tormentor from now on?"
"Okay, either you call Jack Rudolph, or you get a wife" Cal laughed, but Danny frowned, and Cal found a reason to leave the room, patting Harriet on the shoulder on his way out. "I'm gonna call Jack, 'cause there's no way Matt's marrying you after that."
Danny let out a deep sigh. "I knew this was going to happen. I knew it!"
"You knew I was going to break the clock?"
"I knew you and Matt would end up like this - you both just - don't - learn! Seriously, I'm really happy for you, but I thought this time was going to be different! That this time you'd learn and do things right, but you just keep having these... these..."
"Erratic, impulsive, childlike behavior?" Simon suggested.
"Thank you, Simon."
"Lemme guess, you read the boot story, right?"
Harriet, did not answer, just blushed. "I'm gonna make it up to him."
"How?" Danny snapped his head up. "How in the world will you possibily make this up to him?"
"Say dirty stuff" Simon whispered inside Harriet ear. "It's the only way."
"I-I'm gonna tell you the time every five minutes. I'll come here to inform him, I won't do anything else."
"That's great, Harriet, because that's the best way of saving this show: the lead actress not learning the lines and being tired of coming and going, coming and going, coming and going..."
"I got it!"
"She's lead?" Simon asked, a bit offended. But offense lasted only until Danny pointed one of the many doors, through where Simon ran off.
And Cal came in through another door.
"Okay, I told Jack about your situation."
"What did he say?"
"He's still laughing."
"I said I got it!"
"Okay." And left again.
"Can't we get it fixed before he gets back?"
"He gets back in fifteen minutes. And this is a very complex model that was made specially for Wes, made to order, in Taiwan by genious cientists and underage workers, so I'd have to send it there to get it fixed."
"Why don't you find someone to fix it in LA?"
"A... uhn... watchmaker."
"This isn't exactly a pocket watch, Harriet. Although, now you can carry it in your pocket - well, parts of it. Here, have a screw."
"You know, as far as I remember, Matt hate this clock."
"He HATED the clock once. Now it's his true love!"
"OUCH!" Harriet yelled back.
Danny rolled up his eyes. "I mean, his not flesh and blood true love."
"A moment ago I was hurt, but now I'm worried." Harriet continued, as Danny found himself a sit. "You know, if it was any other cast member who had broken your clock, you wouldn't be like this. You'd just bench them, give 'em drag queen sketches or make 'em kiss a frog on the air. You wouldn't just make them feel horible about it."
"You'd be willing to kiss a frog? Would make me feel better."
"Why are you like..."
"Because this is what always happens! He does something, and you get back at him, and then he comes and gets back at you, and you break up, and he gets all jealous and does something stupid, that hurts you and the show and, a couple of months from now, you'll be together again, until you does something stupid and he tries to get back at you, and so the patern goes on."
Harriet opened her mouth to give Danny a lecture, but Suzanne came in firsth. "Jack Rudolph on the phone,Danny."
Danny nodded and picked up. "Hello? Yes, Jack, it's still broken. Jack- Jack..." Danny handed Harriet the phone, frm where she could hear a loud laugh. "The guy develops a sense of humour in very unconvinient ocasions."
"Jack, c'mon" she said at the phone. "Show some sympathy..." She rolled up her eyes. "No, Jack, I don't know, as a devoted Christian if all clocks go to heaven. But all Network Executives go to hell, if you must know. I... what? Oh, my God. Danny, he said he made some calls and he can fix your clock in two hours!"
"Seriously?!" Harriet repeated on the phone and then shook his head. "No, he was just messing with you. Jack, for real, dontcha... Jack? Jack! He cracked up again." Harriet hung up. Danny shook his head, no finding any other words. "What are we going to do now?" Harriet asked.
"No idea. But you should consider a quick flight to Mexico" Danny said,and then his eyes went wide open when they crossed the window and saw Matt coming down the corridor. "A very quick flight to Mexico."
Matt walked in. "Hi everybod-" And sucked in all the air in the room into his lungs, unable to go on.
"I know!" Harriet said, apologetically, ears tearing. "It's dead! I killed the clock! I'm sorry!"
But Matt seemed too numb to hear what she was saying, taking baby steps into the office, staring at his smashed clock and the little parts around it, trying not to step on any. Slowly, maybe painfully, Matt got down on his knees and reached out for a small screw, playing with it between his fingers, as things tried to sink in into his head. Harriet kneed down by his side. "Matt, I'm so sorry, so, so, so sorry. It was an accident, I... I wasn't aiming for the clock, but the bat slipped out of my hand, and I... I have no excuses, if you wanna be mad at me, you have all the right..."
"I'm free..." Matt whispered.
"I'm free... You freed me!" he look up to Harriet. "You freed me! I love you!!" He threw his arms around Harriet and squeezed her hard.
"Okay, okay..." she stammed, as he kissed her cheek and neck over and over again. "So you're not mad?"
"Mad?!" He stared her in the eye. "The clock is the dictator of man! It dictated me me!"
"That's what I said!!" Harriet glared at Danny.
"Life is beautiful again! Listen to this!" The three of them did exactly that. "Silence. No more tic-tac. No more numbers dancing in front of my eyes. Harriet, I think I just heard the voice of God!"
"Oh, my God!" Danny yelled out. "Aren't you at all worried about how this can affect the show? How you won't know the time whenever you want to? Am I the only freaking responsible adult in this room?!"
"If you are, we're in trouble." Harriet mocked.
Danny was going to say something, but he was stopped by a sharp laughter. Jack was standing at the door, looking in. "Looks even better than I thought."
"The clock?" Danny asked.
"The look upon *your* face. Is priceless, worthed my ten minutes walk."
Danny rolled up his eyes. "You came here to laugh at our misery?"
"Your misery. I'm free! Free I tell you!!" Matt got up still holding Harriet in his arms, jumping happily, as she laughed.
"Oh, geez..." Jack sighed, bitterly. "I really hope what I got to say turns you both off."
"Oh, please, say it fast." Danny begged.
"Truth is: reallity got to me. If there's nobody here to tell Matt to go do what he's payed for, it's gonna be bad for everybody. So, the spare clock will be here in the morning."
The jumps stopped immediatelly. "What spare clock?"
"The one we keep in the warehouse in Fontana."
Matt atared at Jack with disgust. "Oh, you just had to, didn't you?"
"It was Wes's - and I did not get him that one, either, okay? He went nuts all by himself, don't pin this on..."
"Do I need the clock?" Matt cutted his lecture before Jack could get a chance to start it. "Seriously, I did fine without it before."
"Researches say people work better when they're under pressure."
"Now, that's not true." Harriet replied.
"No, people respond to encouragement, and respect, and safety, and love..."
But Jack was laughing again already. "Oh, you kill, the three of you! Seriously, you're crazy and unreliable, but you are funny." And he left.
"Well" Matt sighed, sinking in his chair. "Can anyone tell me how long my happiness lasted?"
"We have no clock" Danny informed.
"It was nice while it lasted.
"It sure was."
"Do you wanna break the next one too? It can be fun to see how manny clocks Wes's madness got him."
"I'll pass, you need the clock, Matt."
"Hey, I need *you*. You're my inspiration."
"Aww..." Harriet blushed.
"Uurgh..." Danny felt sick. "I'm still here. And you gotta write 22 more minutes, Matt, and you won't be knowing the time until the morning comes, so, lets get to work."
"We're going to, I just..." Harriet turned back to Matt. "Are you sure you're not even a little bit mad?"
"No, honey." Matt smiled. "Of course not."
"Good. *Call me, babe*?!" She suddenly snapped.
Matt blinked. "What?"
"*Call me, babe*! That's what you made her write on the boot, wasn't it?! It's all over *America* right now!"
"That's why you hit the clock? The boot story?"
"I was aiming for the computer! I cannot BELIEVE you'd do something SO childlish just to get back at me!!"
Matt was now standing. "Look who's talking! THE CLOCK KILLER!!"
Danny rolled up his eyes. "Oh, my God..." And left them barking at each other.
Another normal day at the office.